A Tesla solar customer went to pull up their lease agreement in their Tesla account this month and found something other than a contract waiting for them: the Book of Enoch, an ancient apocalyptic text about fallen angels.
Not a scanned copy of their agreement. Not an error page. The full text of a roughly 2,000-year-old religious book, sitting exactly where their legally binding solar lease was supposed to be. [...]
When they contacted Tesla support, a representative acknowledged the swap in a chat conversation Electrek reviewed. Tesla confirmed the lease had become the Book of Enoch. What Tesla didn't offer was any real explanation.
For the uninitiated: the Book of Enoch is a Hebrew text from around 200 BCE, cut from most Bibles and considered canonical mainly by the Ethiopian Orthodox church. It's best known for the Watchers, fallen angels who come down and father a race of giants. It is a lot of things. A residential solar lease is not one of them.
Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.
Ketamine must be one hell of a drug
Vibe coding plus ketamine = late night spelunking into apocryphal writings, I guess?
Elon never came back from that K-hole. He was kidnapped and cloned by nazi space elves.
Of course he was a douchebag before that happened, but now he's fully committed.
I was expecting the Onion
Sadly, I was wrong
... and when the face of the moon is full the LESSEE will bear the required offering to the palace of the LESSOR, and if the offering is pleasing to him he will tell his angels to harvest the sun for one more turning of the moon. And thus shall the agreement be fulfilled.
But woe betide the LESSEE who betrays this sacred covenant, for the LESSOR shall send a plague of lawyers to harry and ravage the LESSEE, who will gnash his teeth and rend his garments, such is the wrath of the LESSOR.
And should the LESSEE think to seek redress from kings or princes, he will find that they have hardened their hearts towards him, and drive him out, and he will know that he can seek justice only from the ARBITRATOR, who is wisest in all such matters. And he will go to the place of the ARBITRATOR and make his case, and his words will be as the chattering of monkeys. Then the ARBITRATOR will hear the words of the LESSOR, whose words will be bright and true, like the sun at midday. And the ARBITRATOR will pass judgment, and all will bow to his word, yea even the kings and princes.
Bravo!
Curious, is your background religion, law - or Tesla customer?
None of the above. I have a computer science degree from a time when relational databases were the most exciting innovation.
I blame content-addressable storage. I'll betcha this was some kind of hashing collision. Or maybe they replaced their legal team with an LLM. Actually that's more likely. Hey did you guys know that DocuSign has over 7,000 employees? What do you think all of those people do? Maybe some of them are very busy uploading ancient texts on top of their customers' documents.
Hey, at least DocuSign isn't replacing their employees with LLMs (yet).
From the article, it looks like the document is hosted on Tesla's site. So I think we can rule out a bored DocuSign worker. Bored Tesla worker? Or somebody let Grok program the backend.
on the upside, it's not the Protocols of the Elders of Zion
Yet.
I hope this replaces the rickroll.
"When doing business with a religious sonofabitch, GET IT IN WRITING. His word isn't worth shit, not with the good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal." - William S. Burroughs, "Advice for Young People"
Get it in writing, and pay a lawyer to pick it apart for you. Speaking from personal experience here -- with one exception (Covid-induced bankruptcy), the only ones to shortchange me were the ones proclaiming to be Christian businesses.
If he gets into Enochian magic, that would be hilarious. Unforgiving to noobs, if you believe such. And of course, he must believe it enough...
Tee hee.
Those Enochian entities sure aren't angels....
Tom Head’s reply is not to be missed.
What did he say?
Uh...
So people are going to say, oh, this was a bit flipping, or a hash collision or something: it's not malice, it's somehow OK, these things happen occasionally.
It is not somehow OK. If these things happen occasionally then your computing system is designed and run by idiots.
I have a bank account and I look up my balance and I get information about someone else's account. That's a very serious error, but it's an error that makes sense. Now I look up my account again and I get some religious tract, or pornography or something. That is a whole different kind of error: it means that the systems that look after bank accounts are not physically isolated from some completely other systems. That's not a serious error: it's a looming catastrophe.
And yes, of course this is just how everyone writes things now. I know that, it's still a really stupid idea.
...this is exactly like that Bitcoin whitepaper ("Bitcoin: A Peer-to-Peer Electronic Cash System") by Satoshi Nakamoto that was included as a file called simpledoc.pdf (184 KB) in every copy of macOS since Mojave (10.14, released in 2018), up through at least Ventura 13.3 (it was reportedly removed in a later Ventura beta). Oh no, it's not exactly that...