Chapter Text
I never thought that I could love you this way.
Ben observed every movement made by Rex, his best friend. He was in the yard with his other friends, while Ben was on the building’s second floor, leaning against a large window that gleamed whenever the sun appeared in the blue sky.
His chest tightened at the moment that Rex crossed his mind—as if he needed to express more than what he was already expressing by himself, as if every word he wanted to say to him were a love letter, as if he needed him more than anything in this world.
What is this feeling?
…
Ben and Rex met each other about a year and a half ago at a workshop held in the Science Lab. Ben was there because he was struggling with a specific subject that year, while Rex was there out of his passion for science.
After being selected for a project together, they became best friends. In this way, Ben began to take interest in science and, well, in Rex.
Mixed signals, comfortable silences, and a romantic chemistry whenever they were alone. These were more than enough reasons for Ben to start feeling butterflies for his friend, even though he denied that those feelings existed. How can a person ignore these feelings for so long? Even Ben does not know.
Gwen was the first person to notice this strange closeness. It was not necessarily because Ben told her about those feelings; a terrible joke made by Rex was enough for her to realize that Ben was whipped for him, a joke that even the easiest-laugh person would not have laughed at.
Oh, Ben.
…
“You should give him some signals,” Gwen discussed the problem with Ben.
“No? It is not possible. I don’t even know what I am feeling,” Ben expressed while fiddling with his sweatshirt’s zipper.
“Take my word, or suffer the consequences for the rest of your life. I know what I’m talking about. It’s your choice,” Gwen stated with enough confidence to unsettle Ben’s fragile ego.
Ben thought that Gwen was right; he could not keep dealing with that constant chest pain whenever he was near Rex—but what if he loses everything?
His company.
His presence.
His friendship.
Rex was everything to him, and losing him would feel like falling into a deep void from which he could never escape.
Ben was so fucked up.
“I’ll tell you my final decision once I’ve made it, ok? I just need to… think,” Ben decided.
Gwen left the room quietly, closed the door, and Ben finally breathed.
God…
Even thinking about Rex made him ache to the very pit of his stomach. What should he do? What could be the final decision?
Ben was so whipped. Ben was so insane.
Ben
was
so
fucked
up.
...
As if it were a ridiculous joke from the Universe, his phone vibrated in a way that feels highly anticlimactic given the situation. When he picked up the phone, he received a message that was very convenient.
hey ben, hru?
i was wondering if we could do the project for monday at my place tomorrow, after dinner
is it ok for you?
More than convenient. It was the perfect moment for Ben to make a quick decision. He had a full day to think about what to do, how to do it, and the reasons why. Everything was working in his favor—and yet, it was not. In 24 hours, his life would change—or perhaps it would not. Ben did not want to blow it, surely not.
Ben took a breath, gazed at a fixed point on the imaginary horizon, and picked up his phone again to write…
sure, see ya.
Yes.
That's it.